It’s been over two months since my last post and up until now WordPress are still keeping this site going; it’ll disappear very soon but until then I’ve been tempted to write. I’ve actually written quite a few posts but not got as far as hitting the ‘post’ button because I’m nowhere closer to having any clue about some of the things I was pondering in my last published one.
Looking at some of my stats, it seems that the most popular posts are reviews (like this), closely followed by anything about M.E – this was surprising to me, as writing about my health always feels self indulgent. I’m going to try to write about three posts every month, with specific topics to be rotated, it feels a bit more organised and hopefully covers something that a few readers will find helpful. So I’m planning on a health post, a review post and a WIP/FO post every month; let’s see how long it takes for that to collapse into a pile of chaos…
There have been a couple of changes since I last wrote, despite not physically getting up to much, life still happens. Firstly, I have caught the stitching bug which is a huge surprise to me as I have past declared quite emphatically that I hate hand sewing. Machining is ok as it’s fast and usually over pretty quickly, but fiddling around with a needle and thread trying to make deliberate, neat stitches was completely beyond anything I could imagine enjoying.
Thankfully, I have grown up a little and after inheriting a half finished tapestry from my step mother, I have fallen down a very big rabbit hole of cross stitching.
As usual I have already managed to acquire various frames, stands and boxes of floss (thanks EBay) and I’ll talk more about it in a future post.
The other change has been symptom-wise; I had a really good summer with hugely reduced fatigue. Mornings are generally my worst time and I was even having happy times getting up and feeling relatively normal. It was a joy and I sucked up every second. I am very aware, however, that M.E. is a cruel mistress so I kept it in the moment knowing that at any point it could pass. And, of course, it has; my fatigue is most definitely back along with the pain, stiffness, migraines, brain fog and other delights.
It was lovely to have some weeks, rather than the odd day, of relative health and it enabled me to make some great memories. So no regrets and I’m positive that it’s a sign of more to come I hope.
It’s six years now since I caught the virus that triggered my illness. I believe it was a combination of factors though that led to that point, including two courses of hepatitis B vaccinations, a flu jab and just something else weird going on with my immune system over the previous couple of years, alongside finishing a very stressful qualification that I had studied for while working full time. There’s a theory in mathematics called the ‘Catastrophe Theory’ that Dr Myhill and her supporting colleague, Craig Robinson, apply to recovery and relapse in M.E. Very basically, it argues that a series of events lead up to creating a scenario where a very small change acts as the tipping point and pushes you over into having M.E. The article here describes it much more articulately if you’re interested. I can see how this happened prior to me getting unwell, if I had paid attention to the warning signs maybe I could’ve prevented it from happening. Who knows? I try not to think about it too much to be honest as it’s only upsetting.
So best to move swiftly on and focus on what is rather than what could’ve been. Right, I’m going to leave you with some photos I took at our local community centre where the Scottish Diaspora Tapestry was on display. It is an extraordinary work of art and if you get the opportunity to see it please do. There are over 300 panels, hand stitched by different communities from all over the world, each completely individual and highlight their Scottish connections. Take a look at the website for more detailed info. These are a mere handful I have randomly selected, because it’s impossible to choose favourites. See you soon, and thanks for continuing to read.